TikTok Love Story

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Speaker 1

You don't realize what you picked up from being in a narcissistic or abusive relationship and what, you know, things that triggered you to use or whatever. The one thing that did lack was communications, and that's the one thing we told each other and told ourselves that in order for this relationship, in this marriage to work is we had to communicate two things.

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Speaker 2

What's the other one? Trust.

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Speaker 1

Trust? Yeah.

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Speaker 3

Hi, I'm Taylor Strickland. I'm a writer here with Locally Magazine. And today I am being joined by Alisha and Tina Northcott. They're going to be part of our LGBTQ issue for the magazine, and we are here today to see their story. So welcome. Thank you. I hear you guys have a pretty interesting story about how you met.

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Speaker 2

Yes, we do.

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Speaker 3

I have not heard it yet, like literally anything at all. The only thing Alisha's told me is that you guys met on TikTok.

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Speaker 1

Yeah.

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Speaker 3

How did that. How did that happen?

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Speaker 1

So. So I met a I have a pretty decent amount of followers when she came across my TikTok page, and she liked one of my videos and so I was following her for a little while and I had like a little TikTok crush on her. So I pretty much manifested my wife. So I was like, She's going to comment.

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Speaker 2

And she was like, That's going to be mine. Oh, wow. And she had.

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Speaker 1

A comment and I responded and she was like, Follow get me on Facebook.

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Speaker 2

I was like, Listen, you have to video chat me because I don't want to catfish.

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Speaker 1

Even though I had a whole bunch of videos, I'm just.

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Speaker 2

About to say, you know, you never know. People could steal people videos.

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Speaker 3

Oh, that's true. And filters.

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Speaker 2

I made her I made her video chat me before I talked to her.

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Speaker 1

So video chat her. And it was from there just sparks. But we try to do a little different than our past relationships because we had a lot of toxic I had a lot of toxic relationships and then she had a lot of toxic relationships.

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Speaker 2

So then we had our first date planned, which was a Tuesday, Thursday, a Thursday, Well, that Wednesday. And I ended up being on the phone with her and my wife said, I want to know. So I was worried. I was like, you know, I was in the hospital and I'm having my first stroke.

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Speaker 1

No. So she actually was not feeling good when we were video chatting. And she was like, my whole side is numb, tingly, as I know you're not the type to go to the hospital, but you need to go to the hospital. And so she went to the hospital and I was like, message, you know, let me know what's going on.

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Speaker 1

She messaged me saying that the remaining her and I was like, okay. Because I told her, I said, you could be having a stroke. And lo and behold, she was having a stroke while she was on video chat with me.

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Speaker 3

Wow. Has anything like that happened to you before?

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Speaker 2

I have listened to my family and my Muslim family have died from blood clots from one thing or another. My mom's the only living female left on her side of the family, except for her younger sister. And that's it.

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Speaker 3

Wow. What did that do for the relationship? Because that's a serious thing.

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Speaker 1

So we had this day planned Thursday. She was like, well, I know how to ruin stuff. So who says you ruined anything? So which hospital you actually like? You're not coming to see me. I said, You got me feeling vibes with you right now, and I want to make sure that this is real feelings. So someone to come up to the hospital that you're at.

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Speaker 1

So she was at North Florida, North Regional Florida Hospital in Gainesville. And after where I know it was my day off, I went and got a baby Yoda with a rainbow lanyard and.

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Speaker 2

A perfume on.

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Speaker 1

It as free perfume on it. And I made her like I told her, I was like, no matter what, I'm coming up there to spend time with you. And I waited about an hour in the waiting area until were because there was still COVID restrictions. And when it was time for me to go, I went up there and it was about two, 3 hours we spent and I was there the whole time when she was in the hospital.

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Speaker 2

I ended up having to mourn afterwards.

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Speaker 1

Wow.

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Speaker 3

That's terrible. But how romantic on your part. What a romantic thing.

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Speaker 1

Yeah.

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Speaker 3

That is so sweet. You big fan of what is it? The Mandalorian.

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Speaker 1

She never watched it.

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Speaker 2

I was like, What?

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Speaker 3

I hope you watched it since.

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Speaker 1

I watched it. Machine never watched it. And so I was a big fan of Baby Yoda, and I was just like, Oh, who doesn't love movies?

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Speaker 3

Oh, my God, she don't even know. Well, it was a wonderful gesture. Anyway. How how did that make you see Alicia after that?

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Speaker 2

That was it for me. Like I already knew. But we like she was saying before, so we wanted to do things different. So we didn't want to just happen to a relationship. One, to actually get to know each other as friends first. Mm hmm. Which not just in LGBTQ. You know, everyone moves fast. Yeah, You know, and it's everyone.

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Speaker 2

And we just. We still move rather fast, but we got, we got to know each other, like, on a real like.

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Speaker 3

It was organic the way it happened. I mean, you know, life changing event. She shows up to help. I get it. Yeah. So those previous relationships, I know that's not the only thing you guys had in common. What else did you guys have in common?

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Speaker 2

Recovery. Yeah. Yes.

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Speaker 3

How do you approach did you guys know going in or.

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Speaker 1

So for me, I started putting it out there that where.

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Speaker 2

I was living more.

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Speaker 1

Or she was living too, but I was putting out there and tape hog that I've been sober for four and a half, five years. And my previous relationship was kind of rocky to where they were trying to get me to relapse. And after a couple other things, I was like, That's not the person for me. And so what was the most important for me was the how to respect my boundaries of not drinking and want to ask her where she was living.

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Speaker 1

And she was living a sober living house at the time. And I was like, Great, because we're on the same level of that. And then that's when she told me about her recovery.

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Speaker 2

Amy for years.

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Speaker 3

Congratulations early. Congratulations.

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Speaker 2

Thank you. And I.

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Speaker 1

Spent a year and a half, almost two years of being sober.

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Speaker 2

From when I was when I met her. And I'm recovery from opiates. She's never recovered from alcohol. So I always said like, oh, I'm not going to not have a beer. I'm like, I'm going to play porn. You know, I like to play pool, so I'm going to have a day. And when I met her and found out she was in recovery from alcohol, I vowed never to drink again.

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Speaker 2

Like I knew like she was the one before propose, before the marriage, everything I just knew. And so I just never had a drink again. That was, if true, last night, this person would do something a year and a half.

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Speaker 3

That's interesting. How do you know? Obviously, you came to this conclusion on your own because you care so much and respect Alicia. But Alicia on your part, could you be with a partner that drink or is that something you have to negotiate.

00:07:40:16 - 00:08:08:11

Speaker 1

Something and negotiate? Yeah, because I didn't realize until really being with her and because I never labeled myself as an alcoholic or I had an issue. And when I was going through during COVID was a lot of aha moments for me, because that's when I actually officially came out as a lesbian. Yeah, I had a lot of inner homophobia.

00:08:09:22 - 00:08:36:21

Speaker 1

So with that, I had, you know, thought what I wanted. But dealing, you know, after meeting her and talking about recovery and sobriety and stuff like that, it just was like, Oh my gosh, I drank Becca, You know, after I stopped doing drugs, you know, early age, I picked up drinking a lot harder and I was substituting for a lot of the trauma, a lot of mental illness things like that I was going through.

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Speaker 1

So I kicked that up. And then even though I could handle my alcohol per say, I really wasn't. And I had I was drinking out of fears, out of anxiety, depression also when I thought I was straight and wanted to be with a man, that's when I figured I had to be in order attracted to a and had to be under the influence of some sort of alcohol or drugs or something like that.

00:09:05:01 - 00:09:24:16

Speaker 1

So it was a lot. So, you know, dealing with other people and they had drinks if they weren't excessive with it and it was occasional social, then I would have been fine with it. But when you're constantly drinking, that's an issue for me because it's a triggering thing.

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Speaker 3

So it's just a lifestyle that you're not part of and can't be part of. I understand. So your first was this is this been your first long term relationship with the woman Latina?

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Speaker 2

Was any live in living?

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Speaker 1

I never live with anybody, man or woman. This is my first serious relationship and, you know, oh, congratulations.

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Speaker 3

What a victory for both of you.

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Speaker 1

Thank you.

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Speaker 3

So during your recovery and then post recovery, you guys were together and you were doing good. And obviously your relationship has blossomed. And I know we spoke previously about how some people have pretty firm rules about people getting together in recovery. How do you think that applies to your relationship or why do you think that doesn't apply to everyone?

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Speaker 2

So we go together. That conversation was about the first year. Her recovery is longer than mine, but I was already into my two and a half, two and a half years of recovery when we got together. So we still like getting to know each other and learning new habits, which we're still trying to get through. But one thing is we've never had a real argument, had a couple of disagreements where I put myself in the room because I don't want to have that first argument, you know, And we've never been to that level, like ever.

00:10:47:23 - 00:11:10:21

Speaker 2

We we'd talk, communicate about everything. And but, you know, there's there's always going to be I am a firm believer of once an addict, always an addict, doesn't mean you're going to go huge because you're labeled as that. But I'm always on it and I'm always in a fight that, you know, I mean, so there's still even after that first year, we still have those demons or that monkey back there on our back, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2

And it's just our recovery, actually. I think being able to talk to each other through it without judgment.

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Speaker 1

I think that's our foundation and.

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Speaker 2

It helps us.

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Speaker 1

Yeah. And the thing is, too, because we had toxic relationships in the past that we realized we both realized we picked up toxic traits. And that's another thing that especially same sex relationships you don't realize is what you picked up from being in a narcissistic or abusive relationship and what, you know, things that triggered you to use or whatever.

00:11:50:11 - 00:12:03:22

Speaker 1

The one thing that did lack was communications, and that's the one thing we told each other and told ourselves that in order for this relationship, in this marriage to work is we had to communicate two things.

00:12:03:22 - 00:12:06:09

Speaker 2

What's the other one? Trust.

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Speaker 1

Trust. Yeah. So and that's when you look back at your our previous relationships. There is no trust, no communication. It was always one sided. And that's the hardest thing, especially because you don't want to come to terms with yourself. I picked up these traits in like, I don't have to change, but in actuality you do have to change and you have to grow.

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Speaker 1

And in order for any, any really, it doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, you have to put boundaries and trust and communication.

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Speaker 3

It's true and true. Your previous relationships, were they similar to Alisha's in that they were just living in a lifestyle you couldn't do? Or were they trying to sabotage you?

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Speaker 2

There's a difference. The last few relationships that I can remember that were the toxic ones were all an act of addiction. I see. One of them is just passed away recently, so I to talk on that. But another one I just talked to today, I claim her daughter, 17, almost 17 years old. I still claim she can live with us for a little while.

00:13:22:22 - 00:13:48:14

Speaker 2

And, you know, drugs are toxic and they will mess everything up. And some people, most people are still stuck in that addiction. And it doesn't mean, you know, we left on on on speaking terms. I mean, it that's just some people you just steer away from, you know, and just you know.

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Speaker 3

I just hope.

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Speaker 2

That they don't, you know, not wake up tomorrow. And when she got with me, that's one thing that she's never seen so much loss in her life, is what I still experience. Like it came to like three people a week for the first year that we were together.

00:14:07:03 - 00:14:10:08

Speaker 1

3 to 5 people she was losing. And I only.

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Speaker 2

Knew or was close to or family or loved. And it's it's crazy.

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Speaker 1

And I've only lost one person to addiction before I met her. So I didn't know because I didn't put myself in that type of crowd. So I, you know, was lucky enough to realize that a, you know, is out there. But I always thought it wasn't going to be, you know, around me and then me and her in seeing their side and seeing how many people that she's lost.

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Speaker 1

And it's tough because it's like when you first started talking and started dating and moved in is just like one after another, after another after another. And it's just like.

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Speaker 3

That's a profound thing to work a new partner through.

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Speaker 1

Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3

But since now that we have the sadness behind or most of it, let's talk about the joy. When were we thinking marriage? How did the proposal go?

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Speaker 2

And it went very quick.

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Speaker 3

And so a little stereotypical.

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Speaker 2

I mean, we said that we wanted to go slow in our eyes. We still did and we didn't jump into the relationship. But when, you know, you know, we did get to know each other as friends first for a few weeks we got together. But still, like when, you know, you know, we still give ourselves that boundary. Well, then May 30th, we made it official that we got together.

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Speaker 2

I think it was July. I proposed to her July 11.

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Speaker 1

And it also came after the fact that because it came up to rings and stuff and I don't know how that came about, and I told her, Oh, I don't need a big ring. Like, am I really? And I was never that little girl. Does this picture us wedding Like I never picture wedding for myself because honestly, I never thought I was ever get married because I didn't have good role models for marriages.

00:16:14:14 - 00:16:34:11

Speaker 1

The one thing I wanted was like my grandparents. They were married. They married a stay married all the way until they both passed away. So I was like, That's the kind of marriage I want. And I didn't really care. Didn't know how to like, care where to get it or how to go through it, like go to the justice of the peace, Vegas, whatever.

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Speaker 1

But I didn't want to have a big wedding. And I told her, I don't care for an outlandish, crazy ring because I don't wear a lot of jewelry as is.

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Speaker 2

So come on.

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Speaker 1

Oh, so she got the silicone.

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Speaker 2

And I had them in my bra and I took and I took her to I was like, Oh, baby, I want to go take some pictures we went to. Was it hard.

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Speaker 1

Crystal River for King Island?

00:17:02:06 - 00:17:21:11

Speaker 2

Yeah. Oh, in the sunshine there's dolphins. And I made my own. I handmade my own little picnic and baskets and everything. I made her a photo album with all the pictures from when we met to that point. And I put on TikTok on my before I text her, I want to share this or whatever.

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Speaker 1

She put it as being just a picnic, like a surprise.

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Speaker 2

Picnic.

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Speaker 1

Picnic. I was surprised because I never had anything like that. She was like, I want to go see the sunset. That's all. She told me.

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Speaker 3

Not to ask. Did you suspect?

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Speaker 2

And then in my proposal, I was like, So is on video. I mind you, I was like, So I know we didn't we? So we don't want to move fast, but, you know, marry me or.

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Speaker 3

How we use captured on TikTok.

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Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah. Because she wanted me record it and I was like, What the hell, You want me to record it for it? She's like, Just record it. And I'm like, Okay. And she came up with the photo album as a gift. As a gift because she surprised me with it. And she and I'm just like, flipped on, Oh, because it's all the pictures that we were taken since the day that we met.

00:18:10:23 - 00:18:31:01

Speaker 1

Like, she's a real picture person. I thought I was. No, she has me be So every point like we have to take pictures of something and we have the pictures of the first day we met in person at the hospital. So she has like those pictures. And every time that we got to spend with each other, she has a special.

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Speaker 2

Outfit I wore out of like hospital clothing when I went home. And she was like.

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Speaker 1

That fell in love more in love with her.

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Speaker 2

Oh, boy. So put a touch of that in there and everything.

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Speaker 3

It's good to have a picture taker. You will really appreciate it. Once you look like 20 years from now, you'll appreciate it.

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Speaker 2

And you never know, you know, when you're going to lose someone.

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Speaker 3

That's true.

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Speaker 2

And I've always been like that before. All of this also.

00:18:55:04 - 00:19:02:19

Speaker 3

Yeah, that's what my next question was going to be. How did friends and family react to the relationship and the whirlwind marriage and all of that.

00:19:03:02 - 00:19:03:22

Speaker 2

You didn't love?

00:19:04:01 - 00:19:07:11

Speaker 1

I don't think they were surprised. Oh, really? Yeah. My mom.

00:19:07:19 - 00:19:13:00

Speaker 2

Oh, neither one of them were married and so our families weren't. So they just now. Yeah, like we know.

00:19:13:09 - 00:19:24:05

Speaker 1

Because everybody kind of knew because, like, seeing us in pictures and stuff like that, like, all we kept getting is like, you guys are smiling so much. You guys are so happy, you guys are perfect age. Other day.

00:19:24:10 - 00:19:44:23

Speaker 2

They always tell her how much. They've never seen me smile so much they she has a nickname. Teens batty And then like her film is the same. Like we've never seen her smile so much and it's people still make these comments on our on our lives like, oh, how great. Yeah.

00:19:45:05 - 00:20:01:05

Speaker 3

And you know, not when we talk about LGBTQ stories. I feel like in the past, a lot of times we talk about trauma and yeah, not acceptance. And I don't really want that to be the focus of your story. But was there any issues at all with that? Was everyone cool?

00:20:01:06 - 00:20:02:05

Speaker 2

No, everyone.

00:20:02:05 - 00:20:34:19

Speaker 1

Loved everybody because, I mean, for me, so for me, I and looking back at it, I've always been like when people say, you know, you're born with it like you are. Because I look back at my younger years and I'm like, having crushes on girls. But then, you know, growing up in the eighties and nineties, it was I didn't have a role model, so and I was never around anybody gay and so I didn't know.

00:20:34:19 - 00:20:44:04

Speaker 1

And I grew up with a Japanese grandmother and it was just like one of those things of, you know, if they were still alive, those were the be the people that would be against it.

00:20:44:08 - 00:20:44:22

Speaker 2

Same here.

00:20:45:01 - 00:21:10:13

Speaker 1

But when I was in my teens, that's when I did the whole bisexual thing. But I was still needing to be with a man because, you know, psychologically, because society puts it in your head that you have to be with a, you know, a man and a woman. And when it became COVID and I was like, why am I not having successful relationships?

00:21:10:13 - 00:21:41:09

Speaker 1

Like, what is it? I might have been successful relationships. And that's when I had to come to terms with myself because I had major in a homophobia. And that's a thing that people don't realize, like in homophobia is a major thing because you got your family, friend society sitting there saying that like, you know, this is wrong or this is right and I finally came to terms and I started watching TED talks of like women coming out at a later age and like, finally happy being themselves.

00:21:41:09 - 00:22:01:16

Speaker 1

And then when I came to terms with that and I went before her and talked to, you know, to other women and just wasn't having it, but with her, it's just like the the final fitting piece of my puzzle and she's just like me, but little bit different.

00:22:01:16 - 00:22:29:02

Speaker 2

Going back to that, I would know before I met her coming out as when I came out, it was an accident. And first of all, my step mom was she was Catholic and my father was kind of like a biker kind of guy. I mean, like I know he was. And at the time I had a girlfriend and but my father was partially racist.

00:22:29:02 - 00:22:55:20

Speaker 2

So my step mom jokingly one day was like, well, one of her girlfriends have a different color. And I was like, yeah, she is. And I told her myself. And they were both not very happy or I mean, they, they grew over the over the years, but they're both passed away now. But I had only been come out right before my step mom died and she, she came to love me like for who I was.

00:22:55:20 - 00:23:00:22

Speaker 2

And then my dad, it took him a couple years. He I just lost him almost six years ago. But yeah.

00:23:01:11 - 00:23:12:14

Speaker 3

So you guys are kind of trailblazers in your family role models yourselves. Do you think of yourselves that way? Because I know you've the tick tock and then you also have a Facebook support group, which we'll talk about in a minute. But do you think about yourself that way?

00:23:12:17 - 00:23:13:10

Speaker 1

Not really.

00:23:14:07 - 00:23:14:12

Speaker 2

No.

00:23:15:00 - 00:23:15:21

Speaker 1

No, no.

00:23:16:05 - 00:23:18:10

Speaker 3

I think maybe I have to start thinking about it.

00:23:18:12 - 00:23:41:10

Speaker 2

Like the fact that we're we're trying to help other people and show people that you can do things in life and and have sober fun. And we always put some of our phone and our phone adventures on our Facebook or TikTok alone. But my family, I don't know. I know that they love who I become and I don't know about tribalism, but it is something I.

00:23:41:10 - 00:24:09:04

Speaker 1

Think she's she's gotten relationships back in her family that she lost because of addiction. But now and I think a lot of people me, I just be me like I'm sorry, I'm straightforward how it is. I don't sugarcoat anything. And I'm, you know, sensitive to energies and things like that. And I, I just don't care. And I'm more of a loner.

00:24:09:04 - 00:24:19:17

Speaker 1

And like, when you know, earlier when you were saying about marriage and stuff, like, I never like, I thought I was going to be all by myself and love her babies. And she came they all.

00:24:19:17 - 00:24:21:04

Speaker 2

Were matching outfits for us.

00:24:21:11 - 00:24:24:10

Speaker 3

Yeah, I noticed you guys matched today.

00:24:24:18 - 00:24:25:07

Speaker 1

Yes, It was.

00:24:25:07 - 00:24:25:20

Speaker 3

Very nice.

00:24:25:20 - 00:24:30:12

Speaker 1

Where that older couple that likes to match.

00:24:30:15 - 00:24:31:14

Speaker 2

Was our for babies.

00:24:31:14 - 00:24:34:23

Speaker 3

Too. It's very cute. If only we could have the four babies in the room.

00:24:35:02 - 00:24:37:01

Speaker 2

Yes.

00:24:37:01 - 00:24:41:04

Speaker 3

So your Facebook Live, what was the impetus for that? How did you guys even come up with that?

00:24:42:08 - 00:25:18:10

Speaker 1

So I was going through a really bad depression spell and I was on the verge of like thinking about relapsing really bad and all. I kept thinking about was alcohol. And I was like, I need something. Like I need something. And I, I don't. I was watching like some tech talks and then I was scrolling through Facebook and I had, um, I'm also in another group too, where you're kind of a stand in family member and I.

00:25:18:12 - 00:25:19:18

Speaker 2

Feel that LGBTQ.

00:25:19:20 - 00:25:39:17

Speaker 1

For the LGBTQ and I have one, you know, it's like my sibling, they, you know, a message. And I was like, What do you think about if I were to start my own Facebook group of recovery? Because they're in recovery as well and they're like, That would be awesome. And I'm like, Would you be down to join in?

00:25:39:17 - 00:26:14:10

Speaker 1

Like, Yeah. AS I'm all right, I'm N.A. and I'm gonna talk to Tina about it and then see what she thinks and then, you know, possibly come out with it, possibly not. So it actually started up because I was on the verge of relapsing and so I wrote out an objective in mind you, I never write out anything because I hate writing out feelings and stuff because I see it and that's when I knew I was serious about that, because I actually wrote the objective, what I wanted, how I would want to see from an outsider.

00:26:14:10 - 00:26:32:23

Speaker 1

I read it to her and she was like, That's awesome. Like, I love it. Yeah, most definitely. And I put it together in one day and made a post about it in Facebook and she started a friend request like send it out to her friends are in recovery and.

00:26:34:09 - 00:26:44:04

Speaker 2

We, they come in on our lives and now like join our live and be on screen with us and just going to explain their story or just what they went through today or yesterday, you know.

00:26:44:12 - 00:27:11:12

Speaker 1

And so we did our first live and now we're making it to at least one day a week and we're going to try to do two days a week just to come on live just so people can share their story or hear other people listen to us. The thing is, is I named it What's your recovery? Because what is your recovery?

00:27:11:12 - 00:27:19:07

Speaker 1

And people don't think about that. Like I never thought about my recovery. What is my recovery? And she never thought about it like that either.

00:27:19:08 - 00:27:20:15

Speaker 2

And changes your reason.

00:27:20:23 - 00:27:38:17

Speaker 1

Your reason changes day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year. And you know, you can just like how your feelings for your depression and stuff like that. It changes. So it's just, you know, when those things and when people come and join our life and I'm like, what's your recovery every week?

00:27:38:18 - 00:27:42:13

Speaker 2

Or ask again, you know, if it's the same cause that you know, what is it?

00:27:42:13 - 00:28:01:22

Speaker 1

And so people are like, Oh my God, I never thought about it that way. And so we have people from self-harm, drugs, alcohol, eating, people who are, you know, family and friends of addicts but never been in an addiction themselves.

00:28:02:05 - 00:28:03:08

Speaker 2

My mom joined the line.

00:28:03:20 - 00:28:28:15

Speaker 1

Yeah. And so her mom joining to help give that other side of from the people who are affected too but never did it themselves and they need some sort of safe space as well because it's like how can I? And it also helps them see from an addicts point of view of this, we're not doing this because to hurt you, this is the real deal, this is the reason why.

00:28:28:22 - 00:28:40:10

Speaker 1

And so they get a better understanding of a person. And then, you know, being in the LGBTQ community, it really just helps because you got like minded people.

00:28:41:02 - 00:29:03:12

Speaker 3

And so that casts the net a lot wider. And for some people are unfamiliar with Facebook and Facebook Live. So, you know, a live is a video stream that you can hop on and you guys respond to people. Yes. But the people who are in your group, both people affected, were close to addicts and the addicts themselves when they interact with one another.

00:29:03:12 - 00:29:18:03

Speaker 3

Do you guys make sure that you maintain, like respectful space? You know, no one can insult each other? No, because I know some people who feel like they've been victimized by people who struggle with addiction. Sometimes they come in and they can be angry. Right.

00:29:18:07 - 00:29:25:06

Speaker 1

And this is where I put in the objective part of this is a safe space. This is positivity only the.

00:29:25:08 - 00:29:25:18

Speaker 2

Worst or.

00:29:25:18 - 00:29:51:00

Speaker 1

No war stories. And it's also, you know, nothing to bring you down. No woe is me because we're infamous for being woe is me and putting, you know, blame on everybody else. And we don't tolerate that. And you know, from a Buddhist aspect, it's about ownership of yourself and you have to take ownership with your own life. So it's just one of those things of that.

00:29:51:00 - 00:30:10:17

Speaker 1

That's what I made sure the part of the objective, that's what it is. And if we're seeing anything, luckily we haven't had anything like that. Everybody's respectful, everybody's on the same page. So, you know, we keep it at a really nice flow, positive, happy energy.

00:30:11:04 - 00:30:18:16

Speaker 2

But on the other hand, if you did have a bad day, you know, tell us about it. You know, just don't be negative with other people kind of thing.

00:30:18:21 - 00:30:31:03

Speaker 3

Right. And as we spoke off of off camera that you don't want it to be like an AA meeting. You don't want to be this sterile meeting where we come in and you guys hold each other accountable. It's more like a chicken, right?

00:30:31:06 - 00:31:01:11

Speaker 2

And there's really nothing against there in a community. It's just we want people who don't feel comfortable in those meetings. We want them to have a comfortable, safe space. We also we accept any anybody's can go on there. But people who are in maintenance programs, who take a medication to help them stay sober, for people who don't know they're they're welcome to in a lot of areas, they're not welcome.

00:31:01:11 - 00:31:03:06

Speaker 2

And so we want them to feel welcome.

00:31:03:17 - 00:31:30:02

Speaker 1

And just you know, we want to show people that are in addiction and that are thinking of. And the sad thing is, as a lot of the LGBTQ community, they are heavily in addiction because that's the only they see. That's our only outlet from reality that we do recovery. We can recover and we can stay in recovery for a long time as possible.

00:31:30:02 - 00:31:43:20

Speaker 1

So we're that group that shows that there's another way and another outlet to do it and be on the right path and keep a healthy life and everything like that. And so that's just how it came about.

00:31:43:23 - 00:31:48:09

Speaker 3

How wonderful. What are your plans for the future, for the group and for yourselves?

00:31:48:12 - 00:32:20:00

Speaker 1

So to get stronger with our relation ship and our marriage and our recovery, but also for the group, I want to be able I don't want to call them meetings, I want to do meet ups, like I want to eventually be able to have sober fun show that you know, have because that's a hard thing is once you get sober and clean, you lose so many friends because they feel that that you're not fun enough anymore and that you don't know how to have fun.

00:32:20:00 - 00:32:50:04

Speaker 1

Yeah. So like to go dancing. I like to go. You know, to the bars, but I don't have to drink. But, you know, people who are not in that community don't realize that. So making a be able to have meet ups, to have sober fun, go bowling, do whatever springs and, you know, do activities together. But in a sober living, like a sober way of life and know that we don't need substance to be able to come out and be ourselves and have fun.

00:32:50:04 - 00:33:08:07

Speaker 2

So how wonderful I see it as if if we can help one person a day, a week, whatever, that one person is going to help another person, and they can start a train of just helping people and they will eventually get around the states and around the world, I hope will just transfer down.

00:33:08:14 - 00:33:25:12

Speaker 1

And I want to be able to have like different, you know, meet up groups and different states. So we're that way. You know what your recovery groups of, you know, let's meet up here. If you're in this area, let's meet up here or if you're over here, let's do this. You know, and just so people can have that outlet.

00:33:26:06 - 00:33:33:20

Speaker 3

Wow. Thank you guys so much. Thank you for sharing your story and your aspirations for the future. Now, your recovery group, what's it's called again.

00:33:34:04 - 00:33:35:10

Speaker 1

What's your recovery?

00:33:35:10 - 00:33:40:09

Speaker 3

What's your recovery on Facebook? How would they find you? Do they just like a page? Yep.

00:33:40:10 - 00:34:06:22

Speaker 1

They just like it and I'll let us know. And then just we have, you know, opening thing to introduce yourself, put a picture and kind of just tell us a little bit about yourself so we can get to know each other and jump on our lives whenever we have it. And then also, you know, if you're having like a rough day or you want, you know, need something you could post in there and.

00:34:07:00 - 00:34:07:17

Speaker 2

Messages.

00:34:07:17 - 00:34:26:08

Speaker 1

Message us and then we have an anonymous button as well. So if you don't feel that you want to share something because you don't want because it is public, you don't want people to see, you can post it anonymously, but you put your thoughts out there so you might be able to help somebody or get the help that you need.

00:34:26:08 - 00:34:44:06

Speaker 3

So wow, that is great to anyone watching it. Be sure to check out Alisha and Tina on their Facebook Live. It seems like they're doing a lot of really good work over there. And now that we are at their end, I would like to thank you all for joining us today. Once again, I am Taylor Strickland. I am a writer at Little Carla magazine.

00:34:44:10 - 00:35:00:00

Speaker 3

You can read this story and more on our website at local imag dot com. Our links will be in the description. Thank you all again. And remember, this is Luke, our podcast, where we focus on connections through stories.

00:35:00:00 - 00:35:11:21

Speaker 4

Once again, thank you for joining us here on the local podcast. If you enjoyed today's video, please go ahead and give it a thumbs up as well as subscribe to our channel and hit that notification. Bell So you're alerted to our next videos.

00:35:13:07 - 00:35:32:21

Speaker 5

With Ocala Pride, reestablishing our presence. I would like to see more of the community, not just the LGBTQ community, but all of the community come together and that has been my focus since I became vice president, is to make us one community.